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Gone in 60 Seconds | |
| Starring: | Nicolas Cage , Giovanni Ribisi , Scott Caan , James Duval , Robert Duvall. | |
| Directed By: | Dominc Sena | |
| Produced By: | Jerry Bruckheimer and Mike Stenson | |
| Written By: | Scott Rosenberg | |
| Distributed By: | Touchstone Pictures | |
| Running Time: | 1hr, 59 min. (only worth about a half hour) | |
| PG-13 | ||
My my, how I anticipated this movie. It is really starting to get to me how focking good the advertisements for movies are getting, but how bad the movies always seem to turn out. Oh well, I guess that's what I get for being such a focking stoned gungun (or however you spell that, I don't know).
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Now, I'm sure you all saw the previews for this movie. I mean, it looked fantastic! Really REALLY cool. I mean, when was the last time a really good car chase movie came out? Hmm... mid eighties? Earlier maybe? I don't know. But it has been a long arsed time. To top all the cool advertising off, my dad told me about the original (yes, this movie is a re-make) that I apparently saw.
The original must have been a lot better, because even my dad was disappointed with this movie. Yes, that's right, I saw it with my dad, and my mom for that matter. I was hanging out with my parents, you have some kind of problem with that? Well, maybe when you grow up and move out on your own you'll begin to appreciate your parents a little more, because I look forward to spending some time with my parents because they did such a damn good job raising me. Yes, I'm a big stoner, but I have a good job (sorta) and I don't get into trouble. Which is more than I can say for Krispy Deamon, friggin idiot.
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As I was saying, my parents didn't even like this movie. I was expecting to walk in with my popcorn and Pepsi, sit down, and watch about an hour and a half of non-stop car chases and crashes. Well, what I did was sit and yell at the movie. "WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WRECK A CAR!?!" Well, I watched that movie for a half an hour, and didn't even see Anjelina Jolie (you spell it, dingleberry). Now, I don't go see movies because of hot chicks, except for my sweet sweet favorite person Jeanine Gorafalo, but I do have a special place in my heart (pants) for Anjelin Jolie. I think she said four lines in the whole movie. Minus on point for this movie.
And then I watched for another half an hour, waiting, hoping for some action. None. A bunch of talking, planning, and other BS. Now, don't get me wrong, a movie that is all planning and very little action can be quite good. I mean, look at Bound sometime if you don't believe me. But not this movie. This movie wasn't called Planning for an hour and then wrecking cars, was it? No! It was "Gone in 60 Seconds" which to me, means steal, chase, crash. PERIOD! Nope, no such luck.
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I wouldn't even bother seeing this movie until it comes out on video, and usually I'll rent a movie I saw in theaters when it comes out on video, but not this one. If I were you, I would just skip it all together. It is missing so much that it's just a waste of time. You may feel this incredible desire to go see it, but it just has no good points, except for the last part of the movie, when they actually steal the cars. But by then, you're asleep.
Rating: 3 "Viper: Armed"s (this movie lost a lot of points because a missing Anjelin Jolie)
Websites:
http://www.gonein60seconds.com - official
site for original and new, I think. I have slow connection, so had to go to
international craparsed version. Try going to the flash high bandwidth and maybe
you'll get some groovy stuff, but the website felt like the movie, boring as hell!
Know a good site about this movie, or one of the actors/actresses/directors/key grips/etc involved in it. Send me an e-mail at jarjarschmoke@hotmail.com
